i hate computer science

Yulia Chive

2 min read

·

07-12-2024

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I Hate Computer Science: My Unexpected Journey Through Code and Why It Wasn't My Calling

Let's be honest. The title says it all. I hate computer science. Or, at least, I hated my experience with it. This isn't a rant against the field itself – it's a personal confession about a path I chose, a path that, despite the prestige and potential, ultimately proved to be a disastrous mismatch for my skills and temperament.

The Allure of the Tech World:

Like many, I fell into computer science under the weight of societal pressure and the promise of a lucrative career. The tech world, with its innovative companies and six-figure salaries, held a powerful allure. The idea of building something from nothing, crafting elegant solutions to complex problems, seemed intellectually stimulating and creatively fulfilling. I envisioned myself as the next Zuckerberg, coding my way to a billion-dollar empire.

Reality Check: The Grind

The reality, however, was far removed from my romantic vision. The initial excitement waned quickly, replaced by a growing sense of dread. My struggles weren't about a lack of intelligence – I'm reasonably bright. The problem was a fundamental incompatibility:

• The Tedium: Hours spent debugging seemingly insignificant errors, poring over lines of code, wrestling with compilers – the relentless minutiae chipped away at my enthusiasm. The creative process was often overshadowed by the tedious process of implementation.

• The Abstraction: I'm a hands-on, practical person. I struggle with abstract concepts, and computer science, at its core, is intensely abstract. The lack of tangible results in the early stages was incredibly frustrating.

• The Isolation: While the field boasts a collaborative spirit in theory, my experience was often solitary. Spending hours hunched over a keyboard, wrestling with code, felt isolating and lonely. The social aspect I craved was largely absent.

• The Pressure: The constant pressure to stay ahead, to learn new languages and frameworks, to remain competitive in a rapidly evolving field, created a constant state of anxiety. The learning curve was steep, and I felt constantly behind.

The Turning Point:

The breaking point came during a particularly grueling all-nighter spent debugging a particularly stubborn piece of code. The exhaustion, the frustration, the feeling of utter helplessness – it all culminated in a wave of overwhelming negativity. I realized, in that moment of clarity, that this wasn't for me. This wasn't a temporary setback; it was a fundamental incompatibility.

Finding My Path:

Leaving computer science was one of the hardest but ultimately best decisions I ever made. It took time to find my footing, to discover what truly resonated with me. The experience, however painful, taught me valuable lessons about self-awareness, perseverance, and the importance of choosing a path aligned with one's skills and passions.

My journey away from computer science doesn't diminish the field's importance or the brilliance of those who thrive in it. It simply highlights the fact that what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. My story is a cautionary tale, a reminder that choosing a career path should be based on genuine passion and aptitude, not societal expectations or perceived financial rewards. If you're struggling with computer science, don't be afraid to re-evaluate your path. There's more to life than code.